Here’s how to chuck money down the drain.
a) Fold up a fiver really small. Stand in gutter. Squish said fiver through grill of drain.
b) Buy a brand new non-sale wedding dress from a bridal shop.
The beauty of used wedding dresses is that they really will have been worn just once. However, thousands insist on paying double or even triple to be the first wearer of their dress. It defies all logic, even the logic of a bride drunk on romance, to do this in our redundancy-infused times. Here’s some tips on finding the perfect bankruptcy-avoiding dress:
1.Take window shopping to a whole new level. Go to as many ghastly over-priced bridal shops as you can, and try as many wedding dresses on as they’ll let you. Lie flamboyantly about your budget so you get to try the best dresses. Make sure you take down the names/ product codes of the dresses.
2. Get serious with Ebay. Set up a search for the exact model and make of dress you like, save it and receive updates when one comes on the market.
There’s also online shops specifically for second hand wedding dresses, but they tend to be a bit more expensive.
3. Go old school. Well, vintage anyway. Camden market has a great range of vintage bridal dresses. Or if you want to go a little more upmarket, there’s The Vintage Wedding Dress Company for about a grand a pop.
The Vintage Wedding Dress Company
4. Book into Oxfam Brides. They’ve got 10 bridal departments, mainly full of unworn designer dresses. Make an appointment at a branch, they’re all do-gooder charity types, so are extra helpful. Good ones are Bracknell, Leatherhead, Southhampton, Eastbourne. Expect to pay £250 a dress. At that sort of price, you could buy two. Hell, save the second one for your second wedding.
5. Borrow your mate’s. It’s crazy, but it just might work.
6. Never forget China. A billion tailors, all waiting for your custom. They’ll do rip offs of anything you can get clear pictures of. If you can manage to measure yourself properly (or get a friendly local seamstress to) then they can make it.
7. Don’t under-estimate the high street. Monsoon, Littlewoods and the American J Crew all do great dresses for £200-350. And if you’re a big fan of polyester, there’s always the BHS wedding outfit with shoes for £100.
J Crew Erez dress for $395
8. Don’t wear white. Amazingly, you won’t turn into a pumpkin if you walk up the aisle in dove grey. Gold or any metallic has an element of theatricality, and red during winter rocks. Then you can get a designer dress without any Bride Tax.
9. Get a personal shopper. They’re free at Liberties, Selfridges and many department stores. They can help you get an idea of what shape suits you, or even find you a non-bridal dress which just happens to be white.
10. Go knee-length. Knee length dresses in ivory pretty much never get hit with Bride Tax.
Dress from Motasem